We are taught from a young age to be polite, and that can work against us at times. I remember, the last time I was in Hungary, I had booked some Thai massages. The first one was incredible, so I went back again. But the second time I had a different girl.

From the moment she touched me, I knew she had no idea what she was doing. You don’t need to be a masseuse to feel the hesitation on the touch, to notice how random the movements are, or that the masseuse stopping for minutes at times or standing on your thigh unmoving for 3 minutes is not very professional.

I should have stopped her. I should have gotten up and told her to go get someone else. But I didn’t. I paid dear for a service that was not provided and spent the day in disappointed frustration.

What has stopped me from speaking up? Probably not wanting to cause a scene – and also part disbelief. My polite ways have gotten me into a situation where I felt I just needed to take what is given. I have learned my lesson…

Let me ask of you to be better than I was.

Speaking up when something does not feel right is the healthiest thing you can do in any situation. Speaking up is not complaining, it is valuable feedback for the service provider that shows where changes need made, and you will also be able to get an improved service you will be satisfied with.

A few years back when I first started using an electric blanket on the couch, I left the setting on high even as the summer came. I never lay on it myself so I did not realize my mistake until a client eventually pointed it out. After they left I lay on it to try and it was uncomfortably hot – I was mortified how many people I may have “roasted” who did not say a word!

So please, please tell me when something is bothering you. Tell me if you need me to change something, be it the pressure I use, the music I have on, tell me if I talk too much or if I’m hurting you. Feedback is the most valuable gift you can give me as it shows me where I can make further improvements to my services. At any time during the massage, tell me if you need a glass of water or if anything does not feel right. Tell me if you are too warm or too cold….

…so I can get it JUST RIGHT.